Worst of 2010

Since there’s still just a few more films I have to see in order to confidently make a top ten list of the year, I’ll start out by giving my picks for the worst movies that I had the displeasure of watching. Since I don’t make a habit of seeing too many bad movies, I’ll just give out my bottom five, since extending it to ten would mean including some films that I didn’t like, but don’t deserve to be called one of the year’s worst.

1. The A-Team

This was the worst film I had seen even at the midpoint of the year, and no other film managed to take the title away from it. What is most offensive about it is probably how its horribly directed action just drags on and on in a never-ending, head-numbing, stupid mess. Nevermind that the acting is also atrocious, with only Sharlto Copley having some resemblance of entertainment. Overall, one of the worst experiences I’ve had at watching a film, and it suits the movie pretty well.

2. Jonah Hex

This could have been a fun, campy action western, as evident by the first ten minutes. What it eventually became was a sloppy, rushed film that rehashed a bad plot from Wild Wild West and featured subpar acting, particularly from Megan Fox in one of her worst performances, and that’s saying something. Jonah Hex is one of those perfect examples that not every comic book property deserves a film adaptation.

3. The Wolfman

The pedigree of the film had me very interested, and I though with Benicio Del Toro in the lead, this could be something very interesting. However, it all came crashing down horribly. The action is a cluttered mess with an onslaught of unnecessary gore, and the story is an uninteresting piece of junk that ends with a ridiculous climax it feels like it should be in an even sillier film. Everyone’s talent is wasted here in an embarrassing fashion, particularly Del Toro who finally gives a performance that made me want to divert my eyes from the screen.

4. The Tourist

Another film that had the potential to be really good, with a long list of very talented people working on it. However, it all comes together to create a big pile of nothing. Forget the fact that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are completely phoning it in. That would be forgivable if they had even the slightest bit of chemistry. The director, who won the Foreign Language Film Oscar for The Lives of Others, poorly directs both the grand-scale action as well as the intimate emotional moments. This is the product of Hollywood excess and the belief that having two big stars in your movie automatically translates to a sure thing. This film proves that it’s not the case.

5. Splice

The opinions on this film are pretty divided: you either love it or hate it. Obviously, I fall into the latter camp. I don’t deny that the film has originality, but that doesn’t matter when you don’t do anything with it. What bothers me most about the film is that these characters are so unlikeable and stupid, and not only stupid but aren’t even consistent in their stupidity. There’s no connection here to be made, and once we get into the bizarre horror territory at the end, all credibility is thrown out the window. I know the film has a lot of love, but the kindest thing I can say is it’s an interesting failure, and that is too kind.

Worst Picture: The A-Team

Runner-Up: Jonah Hex

Worst Actor: Johnny Depp - The Tourist

Runner-Up: Johnny Depp - Alice in Wonderland

Worst Actress: Sarah Polley - Splice

Runner-Up: Angelina Jolie - The Tourist

Worst Supporting Actor: Quinton “Rampage” Jackson - The A-Team

Runner-Up: Jackson Rathbone - The Last Airbender

Worst Supporting Actress: Jessica Biel - The A-Team

Runner-Up: Megan Fox - Jonah Hex

Worst Director: Jimmy Hayward - Jonah Hex

Runner-Up: Joe Carnahan - The A-Team

Worst Screenplay: The Last Airbender

Runner-Up: TRON: Legacy

Biggest Disappointment: Alice in Wonderland

Runner-Up: Shutter Island

Now that I’ve gotten through the muck, I can look forward to better and brighter things in the future. The top ten will be here in a couple days.